It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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