Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
