that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
