oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
