hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
