i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
