I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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