i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
