He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Come on in and take your pants off
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