The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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