I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
