I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
