well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
