yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize