I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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