I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
