thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
