i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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