you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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