you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he fucked my hip out of place.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize