would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize