Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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