Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
