I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize