I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
