So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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