i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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