wakey wakey hands off snakey
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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