Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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