i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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