I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
