that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
