I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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