Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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