i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
