Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
