You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
