I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
