That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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