Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Fuck appropriateness.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
