After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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