Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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