it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize