So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
