She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
