Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
