i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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