drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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