dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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