I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
