she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
