Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
