She's JV to your varsity
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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