you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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