Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
