Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
