You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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